Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Birthday dinner

My sweet friend Kaity texted me the week before my bday and asked what I wanted to do for my bday. I have been very blessed with friends here, and it makes me really sad to leave.

I'm going off on a tangent here for a second- I havent really made great friends since my college roomates. Married student wards are interesting, and I just never really formed those "lifetime friendships" in those wards that I hear so many others talk about. It can make you feel really weird when it seems everyone around you has these great friendships with people and you are totally left out. Its hard to understand why, when you feel like you are pretty simliar to these people and would love to be friends with any one of those "groups" or not even a group, any person from any of those many groups! I feel like I'm pretty versatile and could fit into a lot of different "groups" if given the chance. You are left feeling like you must be different or weirder than you realize, haha! A tough pill to swallow at 24/25 yrs old when you've kind of already "come into your own". Not to throw a pity party for myself, I did have some friends just not ones that I hung out with outside of church. On another hand I do take responsibility for not putting myself "out there". Isn't it so weird how finding friends when you're older is like dating? We were really busy at that time, and so many times we didn't go to ward activities because frankly we were just tired, or Brady was at work and I didn't want to go by myself (insecurities). I tell myself that if we were more involved we would have made better friends, because there were some amazing people in my wards and some that I have loved keeping in touch with and getting to know through blogging. I don't blame anyone for this either, there are SO many people in those wards that I think I just got lost in the shuffle, especially when we weren't very involved. How would anyone get to know us? I made some good friends from Dental Hygiene school, and I also had family, and some college roommates close by. I love Utah, the people in  it, and I loved my time there, don't get me wrong!

Okay, I'm back. I kind of expected not to have great friends here either because everyone knew that we were only here temporarily. Even if Brady was going to go to med school here in TX, we would most likely move. When I was invited to join a book club I jumped at the opportunity to make some friends, and since then have had fun getting to know them. We go to lots of parties, get togethers, and play dates and for the first time in a long time I feel like I actually have friends. Even still, when Kaity texted me I felt like I didn't want to do anything for my bday. I love going to celebrate other's but I do not love being the center of attention. I want everyone to enjoy themselves and if they don't, I feel responsible. I kind of needed someone to tell me to do something for my bady, otherwise I wouldn't have. I truly feel like it is a blessing to have friends here since when we move, we won't know a soul and it might take a minute or a year to make some good friends.

I decided to go out for dinner to Guiliana's and Kaity organized it all for me! It was sweet of everyone to come, and I had so much fun having a night out with the girls!

Only iphone pics and bad lighting in the restaurant 
{excuse the poor quality}


Laura Beth said...

Sometimes I read what you write and I have to do a double take to make sure it wasn't me writing it.. we are so much alike.

Kendra said...

Amen. I think I've said this before, but I totally agree that getting to know people in the student ward is hard! I hated the entire first year we were in there. Then we got invited to something by a girl I visit taught and who happened to be in an awesome group of friends. Miles and I are always amazed that we were so lucky to be included and accepted into that group. But I do think it's funny that I feel like we've gotten to know people (you included) better from a distance. Ie; Katherine and Zack (she's the one who first clued me in to you guys) now live in Germany, but we Skype with them and "see" them more than when they were here! Ha! Sorry. I digress. Anyway, I think we would have had fun together and that our kids would too. :) Also, you give me hope. I feel like making friends post college is hard. Sometimes I wonder if I've made all my "lifetime" friends and everyone from here on out will just be an acquaintance. I hope that's not the case. I thrive on friendships and connecting with beautiful souls. So...thanks for giving me hope that for you, even living somewhere for such a short time, you were able to make friends. Whew! You didn't know I'd write a whole lengthy "post" in response, now did you? ;)

PS My word I had to type in for this was hygiene. Kind of perfect for your blog, right?

taryn said...

I have done the same Laura!

taryn said...

Kendra, yes I really liked the katherine and Zach! She was awesome and always tried to get together with us, and that's where I can admit it was totally my fault for not working harder to make time for friends. With the exception of the Brinton's (they were only there for a short time), no one ever invited us to anything, so I actually really appreciated even just her efforts more than she probably knows! That's cool that you have stayed in touch with them!

taryn said...

I was going to say the olsen's but then I wasn't sure if that was their last name haha, but I also wanted to say that we never organized anything and only invited one couple over for dinner so again I'm not blaming anyone! Long response, maybe I should do another blog post about it ;)

Kendra said...

Ha ha! I liked "the Katherine and Zack." And I SO get what you are saying. I def blame myself for the 18+ mo it took us to start enjoying the ward. When we move again I am going to try and put myself out there (no matter how uncomfortable it may be). It's weird for me because I don't feel like a shy person, but in a new RS where everyone knows everyone I suddenly become a hermit! So lame. Anyway, I wish you many many many friends in your future! :)