When Liv almost lost her blankie

We clock a lot of hours outside every week. I feel like we never even had a winter. I can count on one hand the number of days I was too cold to go outside (and I was really just using that as a reason to not have to change out of my pajamas all day). I like being outside, and since it is now already in the 80's and the June Bugs have already started showing up (4 months before June) I'm thinking it was a good thing we went outside so much. Soon it will be too hot to be outside unless we're swimming.

I really never allow Liv to bring her night night blankie outside for two reasons:
1) it gets dirty enough just being inside, it doesn't need to be dragged through the mud or get Lizard germs on it
2) because I don't want her to loose it.
When I say I don't let her bring it outside, I mean out of the house what so ever. Its just how its always been so she really doesn't put up a fuss.

However, on this day for reasons unknown I did let her take it out.

She was pretending to be asleep in the hammock

Caught a priceless sneeze on camera. Should I frame this one and put it in her room?

Ahhh, feeling so good now!

Wait, is anyone still watching me?

Grampy drove up while we were still outside and Liv ran to greet him.

And then she and I went to the park to play and get all her wiggles out before bedtime.

And when it was bedtime, her blankie was NO WHERE to be found.

I looked all over the backyard and it was no where.

I thought she could do it.

I thought "she'll have to just use another blankie tonight".

I thought she'd cry a little and then be over it.

I thought she'd be too tired to care.

I was wrong.

She has another very important blankie called "tuck-y". It has birds on it and usually goes on top of her and tucks her in tight every night, while she holds onto her night night and cuddles with it like a teddy bear. This night I thought maybe she could just cuddle with the tuck-y instead... No way! "How dare you think that this could replace night night, Mom" was what I'm sure should would have said if she had that kind of a vocabulary. She cried the saddest deep cries when I said in a happy voice "tonight we're going to cuddle with birdies" and smiled an over animated smile. She was so sad and was desperately saying "butterflies, butterflies" through her tears because her night night has butterflies and flowers on it.

I felt so terrible. She didn't understand that I could not for the life of me find it. I felt like she thought I was punishing her.

I decided to go back outside with her and a flashlight and look all of the yard.

In the sandbox? No

In the shed? No

On the hammock? No

In the car?? No

Under the car??? No

Anywhere on the grass??? NO

I tried to help her understand that we, neither me or her, could find her night night. 

It's gone, I said.

I want to give it to so much if only I could.

We tried to go to bed again.

She really did try, and she sat on my lap and rocked in the rocking chair, but she did not want to cuddle without her night night so she just sat there looking at me and we sang songs while we rocked. She got so drowsy she laid her head on my stomach, and the simple touch of her cheek on my clothes instead of her night night reminded her that she didn't have her night night, and the heavy sobbing began again. Just the saddest thing ever. Together we went outside one more time. It HAS to be out here, was what I was thinking! She didn't have it when we went to the park and we never went inside after Grampy got home.

I looked all those places again, but this time I thought to not only look in the front, back, and trunk of the car we drove to the park in, but also under the her seat. There I saw it!! A tiny little piece of it. All the way on the other side underneath the opposite seat her carseat was in. It must have slid across the leather seats and shoved itself down between the passenger side door and the seat. I walked around to the passenger side door and opened it thinking she would jump for joy when she saw it. She just said "night night" and grabbed it and hugged it, and then wanted me to hold her. I think she was exhausted from the whole ordeal, poor little thing! She went right to bed.

Here's to hoping she doesn't really loose it for good until she is old enough to understand that I'm not punishing her by not giving it to her.