growing up

This beautiful girl starts pre-school on Tuesday and I can't believe it because I've never stopped thinking of her as a baby. When Scarlett was born I did realize that she was getting so big, but she's still that little baby that used to have such a hard time going to sleep. The little thing that needed the sound of the hair dryer to calm her down. The baby that needed her mommy and daddy to rock and rock and rock her to sleep at night.

Now, most of the time, she won't even let us rock her in the rocking chair. She didn't even give me a kiss when I tucked her in. She wears big girl shoes. And underwear. Where did my baby go? How did this happen? Why do babies have to grow up? and how can time move so quickly?

In an effort to "find joy in the moment" rather than cry myself to sleep since my baby is growing right before my eyes and there is nothing I can do to stop it, I will think of all the things that I love about this time in my not so little baby's life.

I love when we both have matching messy buns, even though hers is so much prettier than mine. I love when she tells me I have princess hair "just like me does". When she wants to put on some make up with me in the mornings, and will sit on the bathroom counter with her feet in the sink while I try to convince her that the carmex is lipstick. When she lets me put red lipstick on her tiny lips and then kisses my hand to make a lip print on it. I even love it when she won't let me put the lipstick on her and she smears it all over her mouth and thinks it looks great. I love it when she pretends that Scarlett is a puppy, and she says "here boy" even though I told her Scarlett is a girl and there is such a thing as a girl dog. I love when she wants to tell me a secret because it makes me feel special. I love being her mom even when she's throwing tantrums like she did today when she refused to go to nursery and we 3 girls just hung out in the hallway for an hour. I kind of love when she clings to me or grabs my legs and buries her face in them when someone talks to her and she's feeling shy (even though another part of me wishes she would just talk to people because I want them to see how cute she is). I love her when she's running away from me and calling for daddy instead, even though it breaks my heart. I love when she walks up to someone and tries to shake their hand. Or when I can hear her say to a random kid at the park "My name's Livia, what's yours name?" after I tell her to try to make a friend. 

So, I guess I do love this "growing up" thing. So hard but so worth it.